Motivation.

I guess a lot of people struggle with this, because I'm certain that I'm not alone here. But, I always seem to lack motivation to ever really REALLY accomplish anything. It always seems like.. I want to better myself (whether that be losing weight, furthering my education or standing up for my cause), but I just never really do anything about it. I usually pull the old "I'll start next week". I never do..

I need to find some motivation in a hurry. Thoughts of college and cultivating the perfect (okay, not perfect.. but better) beach body are pushing me a little. But, I have this feeling that I'm going to end up ruining my own plans. But I must say, even just typing this out gives me a little push.

As I had mentioned before, Greg and I have really been considering going back to school. I feel like its the best way for me to help support our family. I'll probably have to get a part time job, but I can definitely deal with that. Especially now that we (finally) have two vehicles.. it shouldn't be too hard to find something that'll at least help pay for gas so that I can commute. I don't know how serious Greg is about going to school. I do think he wants to go, but I think we both realize how hard and expensive it's going to be for both of us to go to school, plus he has a full-time job with absolutely crazy hours. Its a tricky situation.

As for me, I want to (maybe) become an art teacher. But, I think I'm going to take some graphic design and photography classes, too. Mostly because I realize that the economy is bad, and that a lot of schools are cutting art classes.. but, maybe I could work as a substitute teacher. But I'd like to at least have GD or photography to fall back on.

I went into too much detail there, I'm sure.
But oh well.
I guess I should tear myself away from the keyboard and go wake up el husband.

Another Update.

So, I've not really had time to write much. Things around here seem to get worse long before they get better. Between arguments and fatigued insomnia (I don't know if that's what its called,  but that's what I'm calling it) I never get anything done. If you think my blog looks bad, you should see our apartment. It's not gross or anything, just oh so cluttered & and dominated by dog hair. Eek.


Through all of the "blah" we're going through right now, with being on a super tight budget & both of us being pretty stressed out... H & I were able to really talk about some things. Some of my issues with depression, loneliness & fear (of his drinking again). I don't think we really accomplished anything though, seeing as last night I was babysitting his drunken ass in Wal-mart. But, it was nice to be able to talk ... Also, I think we've both decided we want to go back to school. We live close(ish) to a local college, that has classes to suit both of us & is fairly affordable. But, I'll have to update you on that later on.. it seems that we won't be able to go until Spring 2012.

Now,
I'm moving. Not me, physically. My blog. To something a little more private. ;)
But I'll reveal a little more later, once I get everything set up the way I want.